Life Pt. 1

Okay so this blog will be more serious than the last one, obviously. So my cousin Peter just turned 18 and it's a pretty big eye opener; what am I going to do now? In two weeks I'll be 18. I remember when we were still young. We would always be wrestling, exploring, playing with bugs, being slaves. I miss those days. I used to miss middle school at the start of high school. I always wanted to go back; yet in reality I realized I missed a few people I ended up losing friendships with. I don't know, when I get really attached to someone, I stayed attached for a long time. Of course special circumstances. Like when I found out I wasn't going to be friends with Sarina anymore, I freaked out and missed her for the next two years almost. Same with Christine, it took up until I read Christine's blog to just let go I was finally able to. Yet when I lost Indy and those guys' as friends, I honestly never really thought about them (no offence, indy you know you're family man; it's not that I didn't care.) I just never thought about them, I don't know if it was because I was constantly high, I don't know if it was for what happened, I really don't know. I just didn't think about them ever, any from that group, it got to the point where I honestly forgot two people from their groups' name which someone had to remind me. Of course I still remembered Indy's and Niral's name it wasn't their names I forgot, I could never forget those names. They've been family to me since I met them, well Indy atleast. I remember I didn't like Niral when I first met him hahaha. I forgot where I was getting at with this all. Oh yeah now I remember. I missed middle school only because I missed the people. I missed when sarina and christine would always be bugging me to fix their drama, I'd always dropped what I was doing to help it. I'd be looking at lesbian porn and then I'd get an i.m. "Okay i'll help." I missed how Niral was all death metal. I missed how we were the old kids in school. I missed how indy would wear those tight pants and had long hair hahahaha. Yet around 10th grade I finally got over it all. It took me a while, I know it did. Yet I'm over it all. I don't miss middle school, I miss being a KID. A real kid. Before I turned into a TFS pot head thing, before I turned into a ska kid, before I turned into a little punk kid, before I turned into that "skater kid who always brings his skateboard to class", before I turned into that little hxc emo metal-head kid, before all of that.

When I used to wake up at 5 am in the morning hearing no doubt on MTV morning music videos. I used to wake up next to my brother because we both would be sleeping on the floor since of course we're poor, we couldn't even afford any padding, we just had a blankey under us, and we'd lay our pillows on the metal part of our mom's bed so our necks wouldn't hurt. Then we shared this huge blanket. Then we'd get up eventually around 5:10, get dressed, drop off mom to work. Then we'd drive to alameda and go to school at like 6:50ish. We were always there before the cafeteria even opened.

i'll continue this later.